I don’t know if Florida drivers are actually crazier than the rest of the country, or if, with 23 million residents, Florida’s just bound to have some wild motorists. Suffice it to say, Florida’s good for at least one wild car chase story every week. From foot fetishists to professional alligator wranglers, here are some of the craziest “Florida Man” driver stories ever.

Florida man throws alligator through Wendy’s drive-through window, speeds off

This might just take the cake for the most “Florida Man” story of all time. What do you do when you spot an alligator on the road in the middle of the night? If you’re Joshua James, you grab it and toss it in the back of your pickup truck, of course! Then what? If you heard somewhere that Wendy’s is open 24 hours, you might begin to formulate an alligator-tossing prank plan in your mind. Suffice it to say, police were not pleased with this Florida man’s gator toss, which left a late-night Wendy’s shift cowering in one corner of the kitchen and conservationists rabid.

Drunk Florida man picks fight at red light, run over by his own Ram 1500 instead

Drinking and driving isn’t cool. Picking fights with random ladies at red lights is shameful. And getting run over by your own Dodge Ram 1500 because you forgot to put it in park is downright embarrassing. Joseph H. Carl managed to roll all three no-no’s into one instant road rage ‘car-ma’ story. Police had to explain that his .22 BAC wasn’t a high score to be proud of.

Florida man “slithers” through Miami Beach hotel to heist $2M in luxury cars [Video]

Yes, Miami is a posh international city full of flashy millionaires. It’s also part of Florida. One Florida man decided he wanted some of that bling and hatched a plan to sneak into a hotel’s valet booth to boost the keys to four luxury cars. How do you avoid the cameras? Slither beneath them like a gator, of course! He forgot one overhead camera and the Miami PD posted some hilarious footage of the poorly planned heist.

Florida man hits woman with SUV for refusing to let him smell her feet

Elmoncy Sercle is a Florida man with some unique… preferences. He met a woman online and offered her $1,000 for a pair of used sneakers. We’re not here to kink shame—that honestly sounds like a pretty good deal for used duds. So she agreed, and the two met at a hotel in Aventura for the exchange. She arrived in sandals, saying she’d left the sneakers in her car. Presumably, she was being cautious and wanted to see the money first. But Sercle absolutely flipped out. While she was using the bathroom, he ran out of the hotel, through the parking lot, and hopped into his red Mercedes SUV. When the confused woman followed him, he pulled a three-point turn and ran her over. Luckily, she only sustained minor injuries. He escaped, so police just waited at the hotel, and when he checked in again a few days later, they were waiting.

Florida man steals ambulance, chugs beer in front of cops before arrest

You’d think Florida’s unofficial motto was, “If you’re going to behave badly, at least do it with style.” Michael Esquilin is no exception. After what he described as two days of drinking, he asked paramedics for a ride home. When hospital staff told him no, he went outside and found the keys in an ambulance. FHP didn’t take kindly to his nabbing an ambulance and chased him. That didn’t stop him. He cruised along for a while before finally getting bored and pulling over. But before police could wrestle him out of the cab, he had one last order of business: chug his beer. He didn’t get his ride home, but he did get a ride to jail.

Florida high school principal arrested for DUI with cocaine in the car

Imagine arriving at school one Monday and your principal is nowhere to be seen. As you chat with your buddies, you hear a wild rumor. Principal Hazlett was pulled over in Tampa, and police found cocaine in his car. Understandably, the school district is looking for a new principal. Just another day in the Sunshine State.

Florida woman crashes Thunderbird because she was shaving… down there

Why should Florida Man get all the fun? Megan Barnes was speeding through Cudjoe Key when she rear-ended a Chevy SUV with her Ford Thunderbird. She later told authorities she was in a hurry because she was going to Key West to visit her boyfriend. She was doing some… personal grooming en route to get ready for her big date. And it gets weirder. She thought she could pull off the stunt because her ex-husband was sitting in the passenger seat and steering for her. The personal hygiene dream team even tried to flee the scene.

Florida man stops 11-foot alligator attack with car

This list wouldn’t be complete without at least one more gator story. When Walter Rudder was driving through his neighborhood, he spotted an 11-foot alligator clamped onto his neighbor’s leg, dragging the poor soul into a nearby pond. The quick-thinking Florida man hit the gas and ran right over the alligator. The neighbor even lived to tell the tale.

Motorcyclist dies trying to jump Florida drawbridge, bike sticks the landing

Most motorists would say a yellow light means slow down. Perhaps proceed with caution. But not David Pedroso, who was riding his motorcycle on Manasota Key. When a drawbridge connecting the island to the mainland began to lift, the sight inspired the helmetless rider’s inner Evel Knievel. But the stunt didn’t end well. He slammed into the control gate designed to save his life, smashing his skull and killing him instantly. His motorcycle continued and stuck the landing without him.

Florida man’s been impersonating a police officer on the same road for years

This Florida Man story is as bizarre as it is disturbing. Albert Dolan has been buying surplus police cars with lights and sirens at auction and pulling drivers over—since 1994. But he’s not a police officer, he’s just an overzealous civilian. Unlike other police impersonators, he doesn’t have any record of stealing cars or kidnapping people. He doesn’t pretend to write tickets. He just appears to stop people, enjoy the power trip, and then let them go when they ask too many questions. When police confront him, he tends to refer to them as “brother.” And he continually patrols the same road. Law enforcement is not impressed, and Dolan’s been arrested multiple times, charged with multiple crimes, and spent time in jail. It seems he just can’t help himself.

74-year-old Florida man fights firefighters with shotgun to steal fire truck

Perhaps this elderly Florida man heard shipsomeone else had stolen an ambulance and decided to one-up them. Firefighters and paramedics responded to a 10:30 a.m. call for a 74-year-old who had fallen and couldn’t get up. It turns out he was extremely intoxicated. He jumped up, grabbed a shotgun, ran outside, and stole a parked fire truck. When deputies pulled him from the moving truck, he punched one of them.

Florida man destroys BMW dealership after credit check kills his $129K M4 test drive dreams

This Florida Man-child rolled up to the Gainesville BMW dealership with M4 dreams. The sales team politely took down 20-year-old Kevin Leiman’s information and ran their standard pre-test-drive credit check. Then they told him they wouldn’t be giving him the keys to the $129,175 car. He didn’t take the news well, storming out to his Hyundai SUV and returning to smash it through the dealership’s front window. Now, instead of a lease, his name is on a laundry list of charges.

Florida man at it again, stole locomotive for a joyride

What do you do for fun in Ocala, Florida, on a Saturday night? If you’re one Florida Man, you hotwire a diesel locomotive and take it for a 10-mile joyride. Back in 2019, a mysterious criminal did about $60,000 of damage to a 1959 locomotive while mashing buttons to get it running. Then he smashed through a gate and blasted across several roads on his joyride. Luckily, he didn’t hit any cars during any of his unscheduled crossings. But a few miles later, he may have gotten bored of his new hobby as an amateur engineer. He parked the train in the middle of the tracks and disappeared. Here’s what authorities know about the Florida Grand Theft Loco incident.

Florida man arrested after driving recklessly and leaving his truck to dance on U.S. 1 wearing only a construction hard hat

U.S. Route 1 is a Florida landmark, connecting Key West with Miami, and then running up the eastern coast through Daytona Beach and into Georgia. It’s a lovely place for a scenic road trip. But one New Yorker decided to enjoy it in true Florida Man style. Authorities found him in Key Largo, dancing outside his parked truck, wearing nothing but a construction hard hat. They’d been on his tail after reports of his driving recklessly and striking traffic cones. While police tried to arrest him, he even tried to take a hit off his marijuana pipe.

Barefoot Florida man goes viral for wrangling a 10-foot gator on I-95

This list wouldn’t be complete without one more alligator story. Alligators often crawl into high-traffic zones, posing a threat to everyone from motorists to schoolchildren. Mike Dragich is a Marine Corps veteran who works as an alligator wrestler, helping police catch the critters and move them out of roads and even schoolyards. Bystander videos have gone viral, partly because Dragich always works barefoot. He says, “I live life barefoot.” Dragich adds that shoes would get in the way of his gator-wrestling techniques. He also advocates for veterans’ mental health through his Project Savior Outdoors nonprofit. Dragich shows just how much heart Florida Man has.