One Iowa crew’s Wednesday night beer run went a little sideways. Well, to be honest, it went a lot sideways. Maybe next time they’ll pony up for a pony keg.
This trio is almost as gutsy as the Florida man who chugged his beer after the police pulled him over–in a stolen ambulance.
Des Moines resident, Kristen Gonzalez, says the entire fiasco jolted her out of bed, long after last call.
“It woke me up. I heard sirens, and then I heard the vehicle hitting something, and it just sounded like a really dull thud.”
That “thud” was a car slamming into a tree outside Gonzalez’s house. The driver and both passengers were all seriously injured. “They must have hit it pretty hard. But yeah. And he sounded like he was in a lot of pain, whoever it was that was there, but yeah. Not good.”
Gonzalez may have suspected alcohol was involved in the crash. But she didn’t know the half (pint) of it.
The not-so-great Des Moines beer heist
Allegedly, a woman walked into the Full Stop liquor store on MLK in Des Moines, grabbed a case of beer, and tried to leave. She made it to her getaway car, with a store clerk right behind her. The clerk tried to intervene. This would have been a great time for the thieves to admit their mistake and pay for their alcohol. But you might say that no one was thinking with a clear head. They ran over the store clerk.
Police responded to the hit and run. They spotted the fleeing car full of suspects within two minutes. The sirens should have signaled closing time to the thieves. But instead of pulling over and turning themselves in, they floored it.
The chase went down faster than a shot of tequila. Within a minute, the suspects veered off the road and into a tree. Police report the clerk will surive. The three suspects–one women and two men in the car (ages 23-30)–will live to drink another day.
Sgt. Paul Parizek of the Des Moines Police Department explained, “Everybody’s going to survive, but we very easily could have been telling a very different story today. And then to think that it all goes back to just trying to steal beer. It’s just ridiculous.”
He’d like to toast good decision-making. “None of this had to happen. Just pull over. It’s not that big of a deal.”
