This week’s Florida Woman story comes from Punta Gorda. The Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office reports a Publix grocery store called to report the theft of a motorized shopping cart. And the chase was on.

Publix is actually an employee-owned chain, so you steal from Publix and you steal from the hardworking folks behind the register. But it seems 42-year-old Robin Zick didn’t care. The manager explains she’d been spotted cruising south in her new ride.

This wasn’t some late-night crime inspired by a few drinks. This was around 10 a.m. in the morning.

Deputies give chase… at a snail’s pace

Naturally, the sheriff’s deputies drove south after Zick. They didn’t imagine she’d get very far. But police caught up with her a full mile down Punta Gorda’s Tamiami Trail. And it gets weirder.

Zick had pulled into a Circle K gas station. Props on her for trying to bring the scooter back with a full tank. I wonder how long it took her to figure out these things are electric.

Deputies approached the suspected thief. And like a gangster, Zick was still just chilling on top of the motorized shopping cart. She admitted that she’d snagged the cart from Publix. She claims she needed it to drive to a medical appointment before returning it to Publix.

Emergency agencies clash

While the deputies were trying to decide how to handle this unprecedented situation, someone else pulled up. An ambulance.

Their first response must have been, “Did you call EMS?” “No, did you call EMS?” It turns out Zick had called the ambulance. Perhaps she realized creeping all the way to her doctor, under the hot Florida sun, was a bad idea. She was still a mile north of the nearest doctor’s offices I can find on Google Maps.

The ambulance obligingly transported Zick to the hospital, but for further evaluation. When she was released, deputies were waiting to arrest her. She’s been charged with grand theft of the scooter, valued at $2,500.

All jokes aside, the story may be as much a reflection of our lack of public transit infrastructure as of one Florida Woman’s scheming. Hopefully, Publix got its cart back. And hopefully, Punta Gorda has another transportation option, such as a hospital shuttle, to offer Zick for her next appointment.