I sometimes wonder if folks in Florida think twice about crazy stunts, saying to themselves, “I’d hate to end up as the next ‘Florida Man’ in the news.” Shannon, a 35-year-old from Jacksonville, certainly didn’t. He had the bright idea to fire a six-inch fireworks rocket at his girlfriend before peeling out in his Mustang.

How did he expect this drive-by “prank” to end? Who knows. Those things can go pretty fast and are sharp enough to put an eye out. But rocket science obviously isn’t Shannon’s strong suit.

So, he lit up the rocket’s fuse, rolled down his window, and began to drive slowly by the unsuspecting young lady. And then the rocket launched.

Perhaps it went off sooner than Shannon had expected. Or perhaps it jumped out of his hand. Perhaps he’s just a really poor aim. Whatever the reason, the rocket missed the window and ricocheted all over the interior of the coupe.

What do you do in this situation? I suppose you could try to protect your face or curl up in the fetal position. But trapped inside a car with a ricocheting rocket, who knows where it will hit you. After a dizzying moment of flames and confusion, the rocket finally lodged itself somewhere it wouldn’t bounce out of: Shannon’s crotch. Then it exploded.

Shannon told the press that the explosion was more than deafening. It was more than disorienting. It sounds as if he completely blacked out for a moment. “I couldn’t see, I couldn’t hear, I couldn’t walk…I thought I was dead.”

Luckily, Shannon’s neighbors heard the explosion and rushed to the scene. I say luckily because if I was the girlfriend in question, I’d already be packing my bags.

These neighbors found Shannon on fire. They quickly put him out and discovered he was burned from his groin down to his toes. When first responders extricated him from the mess—and his singed clothes—the outlines of his sandals were still burned into his feet.

As expected, Shannon was rushed to the hospital and treated for second-degree burns. When reporters asked about his future with fireworks, he said, “No more of those!”

The Darwin Awards website grants a yearly award to an individual who (through death or sterilization) removes themselves from the gene pool in a spectacular fashion. Because it was still unclear whether Shannon is… intact, he only earned an honorable mention. But if he can still procreate, he might need to hone his flirting techniques before trying again.