Owning and maintaining a car can sometimes be tedious. Yet, instead of letting those moments weigh you down, you can turn the situations into avenues for a rib-cracking joke. Optionally, you may read some car jokes to lift your spirits. Here are 15 humorous remarks about cars that will temporarily get your mind off some car-related stress.

Joke: “A car’s idea of efficiency: breaking down right outside the repair shop.”

Interestingly, the best place for a car to break down is in front of a repair shop. Vehicles that do this seem to have a sense of efficiency. At least when it breaks down there, you don’t have to pay for a tow truck!

Joke: “What do you call a car that never stops? An Infiniti!”

Infiniti is a luxury vehicle unit of the Japanese automaker Nissan, known for its reliable and long-lasting cars. And if it ever did stop, you’d still be impressed with how far it got before needing a break.

Joke: “My car and I are a lot alike – we both have trouble starting on cold mornings.”

Some people struggle with getting out of bed on cold mornings. Some need coffee, and the car needs a jump-start. This joke compares that issue to how some cars have difficulty starting in cold weather due to battery or engine issues. 

Joke: “Cars sometimes behave like teenagers—they make weird noises and don’t listen to anyone.”

Teenagers are often known for their rebellious behavior and unpredictability. Their peculiarity mirrors how older cars can develop unexpected problems and become more challenging to manage. 

Joke: “You know it’s time to clean your car when you find a fossilized French fry under the seat.”

Some people neglect cleaning their cars for too long. As a result, old, forgotten food items become almost “fossilized” under seats. You half expect to find a note from a previous era saying, “Congratulations! You’ve discovered an ancient snack.” 

Joke: “I named my car ‘Insurance’ because it’s too expensive and always needs something.”

When cars become too expensive to maintain, they remind us of the high and frustrating costs of insurance. Just like insurance, it’s there when you need it, but it always finds a way to drain your wallet.

Joke: “I asked the dealership to include something that makes my car go faster. They handed me a map.”

This joke plays on the expectation of receiving a high-tech performance upgrade. Instead, the dealership humorously provides a map, suggesting that knowing the route can make a trip quicker.

Joke: “My car’s new security system is me looking at it and thinking, ‘Who would want to steal this?'”

Most new cars have anti-theft systems. However, when a car becomes old and less attractive, it doesn’t need a security system because nobody would want to steal it. 

Joke: “The speed limit is just a suggestion, right? – My car, probably.”

Some cars treat speed limits like they’re on a menu – they pick and choose what they like. Certain warnings like speed limits can become meaningless suggestions when repeatedly ignored. At least, that’s what the car in the joke believes. 

Joke: “My car’s GPS just said, ‘I’m lost too.'”

This is a humorous take on technology failing at the worst times. The GPS, which is supposed to provide directions, can sometimes fall, leaving the impression that it also gets confused. It is almost like saying, “Well, I thought you knew where we were going.”

Joke: “Cars suddenly remember they have a million problems when their warranty expires.”

Why do some cars wait until their warranty period has expired before revealing their problems? There’s no worse time for a vehicle to break down than when the warranty period has just expired.

Joke: “That car doesn’t leak oil. It’s just marking its territory.”

Drivers often dismiss their cars’ oil-leaking problems by comparing the vehicle to an animal marking its territory. This analogy is a fun way to explain a common issue faced by older vehicles.

Joke: “There’s a new feature in my grandpa’s car: every time the car hits a bump, it changes radio stations.”

This is a common issue in older cars. A rough ride can cause the radio to malfunction or change stations unexpectedly. Funny users consider this an upgrade. It’s like having a DJ with a mind of its own.

Joke: “An old car’s idea of cruise control is rolling down a hill.

The sophisticated cruise control feature is humorously not found only in modern cars. Older vehicles also experience a kind of cruise control when they coast downhill. Just sit back, chill, and let gravity take the wheel. 

Joke: “Why did the car go to therapy? It had too many breakdowns.”

The term “breakdown” is often the reason people go to therapy. So, if a car has mechanical failures and breaks down, it should also go to therapy. Maybe it can work through its issues and come back as a more reliable vehicle.