Police in Ontario, Canada, say one man apparently wasn’t happy living in the modern metropolis that is Toronto. So, as the sun was setting over the U.S.A., he rented a jet ski with a handful of cash and blasted across the St. Clair River to the Detroit metropolitan area.

If you haven’t been to my hometown of Detroit, you might not know it’s actually northwest of Canada. The Detroit River and, farther north, the St. Clair River separate Michigan from Ontario, Canada. They’re narrower than the Mississippi. In fact, from the streets of Windsor, Canada, you can watch the Friday night fireworks rocket over Ford Field as the Detroit Lions baseball team trounces the Toronto Blue Jays.

Team ’Merica might have a new recruit

Well, one Ontario man decided he wanted to blast across the river and plant his feet in the land of freedom. According to police, he rented a Sea-Doo in Sarnia, Ontario, at 6:45 p.m. with cash. He was on the hook to return it by 7:45 p.m. But 7:45 came and went. So, the rental company called him. This dude answered from the back of the Sea-Doo, made some “questionable excuses,” and promised he was 10 minutes away. Spoiler alert: he wasn’t.

At 8:20, the rental company realized it wasn’t seeing its Sea-Doo again, and called the Sarnia police. Canadian authorities notified their brothers across the border to ask if they’d seen a wayward water sports enthusiast. Late that night, the U.S. Coast Guard identified the rental jet ski on the Michigan side of the river. Authorities on both sides combed the river, but it looks like our hero didn’t end up in the water.

Sarnia police admitted, “It is believed that [the man] was successful in conducting an illegal border crossing … U.S. Customs and Immigration were notified and are investigating this incident.”

I know it was an illegal border crossing and thus a crime. But running away from the lovely city of Toronto and rocking up to Detroit on a jet ski may be the most ’Merican way to spend your Saturday night. In my head, this guy was wearing jean shorts and a bandana while blasting AC/DC. If he does apply for citizenship, I vote we waive the citizenship test. He’s demonstrated he knows exactly what the U.S.A. is all about.