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The past few years have been pretty tough for most of us living on this planet. COVID-19, along with the war in Ukraine, earthquakes, China, civil rights violations, and any other number of tragedies to choose from, have shown anyone with a heart that life is short, precious, and ought to be cherished. What do we do with this realization? Well, for a few of us knuckle draggers, we see this classified ad for a house for sale with a private dirt race track, and we know exactly what to do. Will one of y’all let me hold $2.7 million to buy a race track real quick? 

Outlaw Motor Speedway grandstands
Outlaw Motor Speedway grandstands

Can you buy a race track? 

Of course, we know that with enough money, you can buy anything in this world or even outside this world. However, this race track outside Tusla, OK, is a bit more attainable than some Eastcoast stock-funded compound.

The Drive highlights this incredibly cool opportunity to have the ultimate birthday party house for anyone with a couple mil to spare.

How much does it cost to own a race track? 

The Oktaha, Oklahoma’s Outlaw Motor Speedway, is for sale. Listed on Carproperty for $2,695,000, this killer complex is an oval dirt track, 3/8 of a mile inside & 5/8 up top. This isn’t just a track, though. It is a fully operational race track complete with grandstands, offices, pits, garages, event bathrooms, and a two-bedroom apartment on a 106-acre property. It even has parking for 1,000. 

The track is about an hour from Tulsa, OK, which means while you’re making your friends eat your dust, you’ll be doing it out in the middle of nowhere. Considering that this property will be full of race cars, distance from civilization probably isn’t the worst thing. 

This property clearly centers around the carved pit of the automotive colosseum; there are still many other things that make this property so cool. The listing notes two large ponds fed from natural springs. Racing and fishing? Shoot. 

However, living in the country does have its downsides. If you’ve spent any time in the proper country, you might know that city water and sewage are perks of city life. This property requires two 3,000-gallon water tanks for running water and two septic tanks. However, water and toilets are luxuries, not necessities. (I told y’all; we are knuckle draggers) 

So you own a race track. What now? 

Outlaw Motor Speedway
Outlaw Motor Speedway | Carproperty

Well, first, you need a couple race cars. After that, you could call up your closest 7,000 friends to fill the grandstands to watch you chop the racers you invited to the Thunder Dome. Then when too many people show up to sit in the stands, you file the rest of the spectators into one of 10 “VIP” rooms inside with AC. That way, when grandma comes, you got a cool spot for her to watch you run the field. 

The other side of this dream property is the sobering fact that these small local tracks are going the way of the buffalo. As time and progress march onward, these funky little scrappy businesses become harder and harder to maintain and afford for most Americans. Maybe it’s not too late? Maybe, some of the folks with serious cabbages can use their wealth to do something cooler than buy Twitter.