Motorbiscuit’s Freak Show Friday: 10 Horrific Haulers

Something you can haul with is a magical thing. From trips to the dump to hauling race cars and trailers, the kings of the road are haulers. But in Freakland a hauler takes on a different look when you start looking. For Freak Show Friday we’ve come up with some horrific haulers that will leave you wondering where humanity is headed.

This mid-1970s GMC dually has had a makeover that lengthened it, oh, 10,000 feet or so to accommodate extra passengers and hauling capabilities. You can tell this started out as a Suburban but then things went haywire. The graphics, normally added to give visual length, give this hauler hyper-visual length. This all comes off as well as can be expected from what appears to be a totally random attempt at nothing.

Someone had a semi-truck chassis and added a body and bed to it

As with our previous sample, this started out as an unmodified SUV. In this case a Jeep. And just like the previous example someone lengthened the chassis and added a box out in the back. But what this really looks like is someone had a semi-truck chassis and added a body and bed to it. The wider track that turned this exercise into a highboy configuration gives added interest. In many ways, it is a successful freak show example.

This one looks scary. A pre-WWII car and trailer combo, it looks like it came from Mars. We love it in certain ways but we also understand it is freakish in its appearance. What is amazing about this combo is that the body of the car looks to be handmade. Possibly the trailer was also handmade. Maybe they should have painted it black and flamed it.

The genius of this combo is the brown paint, rust, and wood all tie together

What is a clear example of utilizing what you have lying around is this hellacious hauler. It’s like a crude crew cab. In this case, they mounted a complete car onto the frame so that frame needs to be strong. The genius of this combo is that the brown paint, rust, and wood all tie together. It is a most spectacular coincidence or absolute genius by the builder. 

This looks to be a mishmosh of cab-over front, pickup box, and then bed. Again, we feel it is ingenuity that combines crap lying around and assembling them in a practical, cheap, and freakish way. Honestly, when you divorce yourself from how it looks, how could you build a more practical hauler than this?

We’re not sure what the hell is going on here. Maybe it’s the owner establishing where his or her design elements need to be incorporated. Or not. We just get the feeling that something glorious is going to be fabb’d between the cab and rear corners. If you’re a freak then you can imagine something set in between the cab and bed corners. Show us your ideas.

From a previous Freak Show Friday we thought it tied in well with the theme of this week

This is from a previous Freak Show Friday but we thought it tied in well with the theme of this week’s examples. It’s a Cadillac Eldorado front combined with a car hauler rear. Since it is front-wheel-drive the builder didn’t have to mess with a rear end, driveshaft, and trans. And 500 ci of a hauling engine can handle a ton or more.

A somewhat different take on the previous Eldorado hauler is this Dodge minivan adaptation. It’s ingenuity, cheapness, or blind ambition that would lead one to conjure up this rig. We’ll bet the frame that ties the van and shed together has enough give to add to the smooth if slightly springy ride this must have.

This ingenious builder decided to go up with his needs

Rather than lengthen his rig as other examples in this week’s Freak Show Friday, this ingenious builder decided to go up with his needs. Atop the flatbed is his or her living quarters. It appears there is even some laundry hanging inside of the tent drying out. This old Ford is hauling a lot of stuff as you can see, but it is also being adapted to the era of COVID-19, riots, and rabid birds we are currently experiencing. 


Motorbiscuit’s Freak Show Friday: Worst, Cursed Corvettes

Our last example is a Ford Camper conversion front that is combined with some heavy-duty end-dump setup. Besides that, it has been converted into a three-axle mess. We can’t imagine how much that center axle scrubs and scrapes in a turn. It must sound and smell like a burnout, without the drama or speeds. In a straight line, it disperses the weight across both rear axles. But in tight turns, it must be one helluva rig to maneuver.