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Freak Show Friday: At A Loss For Words

We normally can spot the origin of the car modified enough to be featured in Freak Show Friday. Alas, we have no clue what this started as. Also, we can normally deduce what it was or is that the builder was trying to “create” with his or her creation. Unfortunately, we also don’t have an answer for that. We have reached a first for Freak Show Friday. An impasse that will be hard to top. So for this Freak Show Friday we are at a loss for words. How apocalyptic.

Back in the 1950s customizers took old sedans and made “mystery cars” out of them. By customizing it hid the fact it was an old car to start. With candy apple paint and tuck ‘n roll interiors it was hard for most to tell what it was. In a 2020s way that is what we have here. 

Obviously the builder was going after an apocalyptic theme

rear 3/4 view of an arbitrary apocalyptic sedan for Freak Show Friday
Arbitrary apocalyptic sedan for Freak Show Friday

But that doesn’t mean we can’t come up with some scenarios to riff on this freak. Obviously the builder was going after an apocalyptic theme. He won on that score, it looks very apocalyptic. 

Whatever the fin-like things are meant to represent we like the idea if not the execution. Between those fins and the giant exhaust pods on either side of the rear bumper, we’re seeing shades of 1960 Cadillac. Fairly dark, gelatinous shades, but we see them nonetheless.

With the machine guns poking out among the other visual enhancements we see it’s like a takeoff of James Bond’s Aston Martin. Except done awfully. Guns are about the only things recognizable hung off of this sedan. We think we see hairdryers but have no clue why you would hang those off of an apocalyptic automobile.

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The headlights look like they are attached with Crazy Glue and bubble gum

rear 3/4 view of an arbitrary apocalyptic sedan for Freak Show Friday

Rear 3/4 view of an arbitrary apocalyptic sedan for Freak Show Friday

And speaking of hung off of, the headlights look like they are attached with Crazy Glue and bubble gum. If you brushed against them they look like they would pop off. Maybe they’re breakable corner bumpers and the headlights are hidden elsewhere? 

The stuff hung onto the hood looks like they are being held on by a black bungee cord. A lot of the added “sheetmetal” looks like it is really just painted cardboard. In all, it is just a “hell no” kind of car.

How else can you explain why someone would randomly glue and bungee cord stuff onto their sedan?

rear 3/4 view of an arbitrary apocalyptic sedan for Freak Show Friday
rear view of arbitrary apocalyptic sedan for Freak Show Friday

If we were to take a guess as to why this was created if you can even call it a creation we think all of these things and doodads are to hide a badly damaged body. Yeah, how else can you explain why someone would randomly glue and bungee cord stuff onto their sedan? 

The only other thing would be when the drum player in his jam band got sick the rest of the band members got drunk. They started joking around about what a poor-looking mess the lead singer’s sedan was and before they all passed out they started gluing trash onto the body. Or something like that.

We could speculate all day long. The thing is we found it freakish enough to award it a spot in our weekly world-famous Freak Show Friday. So they must have done something right in spite of this being so wrong.