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If you’re a “Top Gear” or “The Grand Tour” fan, you’ll know that Jeremy Clarkson, James May, and Richard Hammond announced the end of their globetrotting automotive adventures. And while “The Grand Tour” had more of a comedic value than an educational one, it’s sad to see the trio go. Well, even with Clarkson’s self-deprecating explanation for stepping back, we’ve got an idea for his post “The Grand Tour” chapter.

Jeremy Clarkson should tour local car events to roast owners and their cars

Imagine it: you’re at the largest Cars and Coffee in America on the Southern California coast. You survey the thousands of cars, trucks, and motorcycles at the South OC C&C and pop the hood of your second-generation Ford SVT Lightning. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Jeremy Clarkson saunters up and makes you reconsider your supercharged muscle truck.

Clarkson could travel around the UK and the US to car shows of all shapes and sizes, taking in drivers’ carefully acquired automotive treasures. In typical Clarkson fashion, he could walk, complain, and then, when the time is right, descend on a target. No classic is safe, no gaudy sports car is out of the realm of an old-school Clarkson critique.

Jeremy Clarkson stands in front of a backdrop to promote 'Clarkson's Farm'.
Jeremy Clarkson | Jeff Spicer, Getty Images

This isn’t out of character for the former BBC journalist. In “Top Gear” Season 3, Episode 6, Clarkson visited a nighttime car meet in a local parking lot. He berated several owners for their verbiage before turning his attention to their cars.  

Of course, in Clarkson’s car-roasting program, there could be an element of good old-fashioned history lessons ala “The Grand Tour.” For instance, Clarkson could make the tired joke that a Toyota GR Supra MkV is cluttered with BMW parts-bin switchgear. Then, once the tirade of abuse is over, we could get a history lesson on the development of the Japanese brand’s most beloved sports car nameplate.

Boom. Hilarious and educational. Of course, we don’t blame Jeremy Clarkson for hanging up his press pass. I mean, the guy’s been at it in one capacity or another for the better part of forty years. That, and “Clarkson’s Farm” will continue to satiate the Clarkson-faithful. Still, it would be pretty cool to have the most famous motoring journalist ever tear you a new one for your Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat.