What began as a minor paperwork issue with a motorcycle spiraled into one of the most surreal moments in a modern British courtroom.

A driver offered a medieval solution to a tiny fine imposed by the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA). His alleged crime: Failing to notify the DVLA that he had taken his Suzuki motorcycle “off the road.”

This happened back in December 2002. Leon Humphreys, an unemployed mechanic living in Bury St Edmunds, stood before a magistrate. I don’t think it’s out of bounds to use “unexpectedly” here, but he basically said he’d rather settle the issue with a sword fight than pay a roughly $40 fine.

In the UK, a driver can’t just stop using a vehicle on public roads and call it a day. The owner is required to declare a Statutory Off Road Notification (SORN). This lets the government know the vehicle isn’t being driven or parked on out and about, so the owner doesn’t have to pay road tax or keep insurance on it during that time.

The original fine was modest. But instead of paying the penalty…

The driver entered a not guilty plea and then told the court he wanted to resolve the matter by combat

He argued that ancient common law granted him the right to challenge the DVLA’s decision with weapons. The driver even specified the options: samurai swords, Ghurka knives, or heavy hammers, The Telegraph shared.

He didn’t want to fight just anyone, either. Humphreys said he expected the DVLA to provide a champion from its Swansea office, someone willing to face him in single combat. He claimed the challenge was valid under European human rights law and insisted it would have been a fair and honorable way to resolve the dispute.

The magistrates didn’t bite

They rejected the proposal and fined him about $320, with another $160 tacked on in court costs. In total, he walked away owing nearly $500 for what started as a $40 infraction.

Though the idea of trial by combat has long been obsolete in British law, it has occasionally surfaced in courtrooms as a kind of legal performance art. In this case, Humphreys may have been serious or simply trying to make a statement about bureaucracy and personal rights. 

Either way, the judges didn’t entertain it.

In one of the most direct U.S. parallels, David Ostrom of Kansas once filed a motion in an Iowa court requesting trial by combat against ex-wife and her attorney

This one was in January 2020. Deep breath…

Ostram claimed that the pair had “destoyed him” during their legal tussels involving custody, visitation, and tax disputes. He claimed that his suggested practice had never been officially banned in the U.S.

He asked for 12 weeks to secure a pair of Japanese katana swords.

Ostram also suggested his ex choose the attorney as her “Champion.”

The judge, wisely, declined. But it made national headlines (see The Guardian’s coverage) and was filed as a serious motion in court records. Ostrom later said he was using satire to draw attention to what he saw as an unfair legal process in family court.

In any case, the UK driver’s strange challenge became a quirky footnote in British legal history. 

And if anything, it’s a reminder that no matter how passionate the argument, traffic fines are best handled with paper, not swords.