We Regret to Inform You Chevrolet Is Making a Corvette SUV

You knew it was inevitable. GM was bound to sink the great brand of Corvette into mediocrity. It held back from doing so for so long that we commend it for showing such restraint. But now it’s time to take the brand to its inevitable conclusion and foul it as expected. You knew it would happen once Ferrari did the same with its Purosangue SUV. Oh, and also when the Mustang Mach-E became such a rousing success. 

How do we know this Corvette news is for real?

The Chevrolet Corvette Z06 with a Z07 package is an American supercar.
2023 Chevrolet Corvette Z06 | General Motors

While certain brands become part of our culture, at the end of the day, they’re put on this earth to make money. Warming enthusiasts’ hearts is only a small priority. So now GM is turning Corvette into a sub-brand by bringing out an electric SUV and four-door hatchback. You know, like the Mach-E. 

If you’ve needed something more practical to drive for whatever reason but insisted your garage only house Corvettes, you are surely rejoicing. And of course, all of this is unconfirmed. You can’t speak of future products at GM. So we’re going by what Car and Driver claims. It supposedly got a sneak peek of design proposals. 

Renderings don’t become actual cars, but Corvette is primed to be diluted

Close up on the Corvette logo
Corvette logo | Artur Widak/NurPhoto via Getty Images

That doesn’t necessarily mean anything will come from them. Designers crank out all kinds of renderings and studios spit out clay models that never go beyond “what if?” But with the designer-speak accompanying what C/D has seen, it sounds legit. “Copies of nothing” and “encapsulated emotional purity” are typical superlatives that are prerequisites for graduating as a car designer. 

It also sounds like C/D must have spoken to a GM marketing person as well. “Corvette is not just a brand, it’s a constantly evolving system paired with a dramatically different user experience.” There’s more. “The aim is not to beat Taycan and Cayenne at their own game but to create three American legends capable of breaking new ground by making the essence of Corvette scalable. To do so, that essence must at all times be in a state of progressive flux.” 

It’s nonsense, only because we couldn’t say the more appropriate vulgar word for it. Again, the superlatives try to create a narrative that justifies this move. But it’s also tinged with more than a bit of self-indulgent righteousness. 

What can we hope for an outcome?

A blue 2022 C8 Corvette parked
Sun setting on a 2022 C8 Corvette | Braden Carlson, MotorBiscuit

What can we hope for in this bit of mixed news? We can hope that the Corvette SUV doesn’t become what a Mach-E is to a Mustang. And we can hope that it represents more of what a Corvette is than a badge. 

But we can ask, “Why does bonking a badge to a sedan and an SUV make them better than any of the other sedans and SUVs GM has made over the last few decades?” Because if it is just another corporate compromise from GM, then it won’t sell any better than if it had Pontiac or Saturn badges. Maybe those weren’t the best examples. Let’s say Buick or Cadillac badges. 

GM needs to infuse what is compelling about the Corvette into everything it makes. This news just seems like a desperate move in this unfamiliar electrification frontier the corporation finds itself.