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I’m just not sure about flying, y’all. Airplanes are cool, but the people you have to fly with ain’t right. Before we get into this, do I even need to tell you where this woman smuggling a boa constrictor on an airplane is from? Wanna guess? Y’all already know she’s from Florida. Well, let’s get into it. 

TSA found a Boa Constrictor in a Florida woman’s carry-on bag

The TSA at Tampa International Airport found a living boa constrictor in a woman’s carry-on. According to TSA spokesperson Lisa Farbstein, the woman claimed the giant-ass constricting snake is an “emotional-support pet.” Look, I’m not here to dump on anyone’s good time, but a snake that crushes its prey, suffocating it to death, doesn’t exactly sound like what you want from such a pet. 

“Is there anything inside this bag that might be dangerous?”

According to The Drive, TSA spotted Bartholomew, the giant serpent, in the X-Ray machine at the security checkpoint. The bag’s contents had some shoes and a laptop, both of which are also supposed to be removed for X-Ray (bigger fish to fry?). In the X-Ray image posted by Farbstien to Twitter, you can clearly see the poor coiled beast neatly tucked into a corner of her bag. Could you imagine being the TSA agent who had to open that luggage up? Nope. 

Surprisingly, after the discovery of the snake, the TSA went to the unnamed airline company and fed them the story about the snake being an emotional-support pet. Without hesitation, the airline denied the animal aboard the plane. 

Is it just us, or is flying getting crazier by the day? 

Although boa constrictor easily takes the cake, we will share with you a few other things recently found by airport security over the past few years. 

The Drive made a list of insane items found by TSA in 2021. Items include plenty of silly knives in the shape of various objects like a comb and even a crucifix. Some people got caught with loose bullets, while others had stun guns. Some of the most interesting is a vintage harpoon (yes, a real harpoon) and even a set of Batarangs. 

More than crazy people bringing contraband on planes, since the pandemic, we seem to have completely forgotten how to act in airports. We have seen countless fistfights on airplanes over mask-wearing, COVID paperwork, overbooked flights, and damn near anything else that people fuss about on Facebook. 

Flight cancelations

The reality is the airlines aren’t doing so well themselves. USA Today says that over 45,000  flights were delayed or canceled during the summer of 2022. Just this past holiday season saw tens of thousands of flights canceled. CNN Travel says, “On Christmas Eve, there were a total of 3,487 flights canceled, according to FlightAware. Friday was the worst day, with 5,934 cancellations, while Thursday saw almost 2,700 cancellations.” That’s nearly 13,000 flights canceled in three days.

Hell, maybe this Florida woman did need her emotional-support creature just to make it through all the other bits of insanity one must endure flying these days. Na, that’s still crazier than a soup sandwich.