This week’s Rusty Monday brings not so much rusty as ridiculous vehicles for your perusal. These oddities will hopefully never again haunt the highways and byways of the US. They are all a testament to people having too much time on their hands. Rust in peace, oh ye brave but butchered beasts. 

Barris Eldorette Corvette

This is the “Eldorette.” Or we should say an Eldorette because George Barris made a few of them. It was a cross between a Corvette and Cadillac

Eldorado. Supposedly he did a red one for comedian John Belushi. Each one has subtle changes to the grille, side vents, and top. As befitting its origins it has been cast off in a vacant lot. 

Phoenix Pontiac Firebird

The “Phoenix” started out as a Pontiac Firebird. Someone must have been learning sheet metal basics on it. No panel has been left alone; from the hood to the deck it exhibits modifications gone bad. As one would suspect it has met its ultimate fate as a wrecking yard curiosity.

Mazda Miata

Someone tried to transform their Mazda Miata into an ersatz Land Speeder from Star Wars. With the roll cage, it could have been done for The Race of LeMons or something equally as random. As one would imagine it has wound up in a wrecking yard waiting to be stripped of anything of value, which shouldn’t be much. 

Ford Monster Tank

This could and should get saved, for no other reason than it is a wild creation with a history. We don’t know what the history is but it is obviously a retired monster tank. Since it has no practical use it makes sense that once the bookings ran out it would be retired to the back forty. After the pandemic maybe it will resurface again?

1957 Plymouth Hardtop

What started out as what looks to be a fairly decent 1957 Plymouth hardtop has been transformed into a somewhat sickly Superbird. Superbirds were 1970 Road Runners with the pointy beak and towel rack like this-well sort of like this. As if the giant foil wasn’t deemed enough the builder also added a deck spoiler. The builder must have really been bored and needed something to do. He sure did.

Mystery Truck

We don’t know what this started as, but from the rust coming through in different spots, this is an all-steel pickup of some sort. It looks like it was a ton of work but our guess is that it handled pretty scary with all of that extra weight. The chopped windshield looks like it houses a plexiglass windshield. Thankfully we found only this one picture as evidence of a plan with no point.

VW Beetle

Someone thought this was some sort of kit you could add to your VW Bug back in the day. It looks a bit too crude to have been available to convert your bug into this, whatever this is. Serving no purpose and looking like Hell this has become yet another junkyard refugee. 

1949 Buick Roadmaster Sedan

This 1949 Buick Roadmaster sedan has had custom side mount covers added for that gangsta look. Besides being ugly, they served to add another layer of obstruction for the driver. It’s a shame this “four-holer” was abused in this manner because before the grille, hood, and wheels got taken off of it this looked to have been a fairly complete sedan. It’s even sporting its “Fireball” straight-eight engine.