Imagine this: A man, phone in hand, stands obliviously on train tracks. The thunderous sound of an oncoming locomotive fills the air. Surely, he’ll step aside, right? Wrong. For his remarkable decision to ignore both physics and survival instincts, this Kansas man earned himself a spot in the infamous Darwin Awards—a celebration of those who remove themselves from the gene pool in spectacularly foolish ways.

Darwin’s roll call: trains 3, humans 0

It’s not rocket science—trains are big, loud, and unstoppable. Yet for some, these simple facts seem like suggestions rather than hard rules. Take Jackie Chambers, a 43-year-old man from Olathe, Kansas, whose car broke down on Interstate 35. After failing to fix his jalopy, he wisely stepped away from the freeway… only to stand smack in the middle of nearby train tracks. Holding a phone to one ear and cupping the other against the noise, he managed to ignore the oncoming train entirely. Physics, however, didn’t ignore him.

Then there’s the Michigan music lover whose headphones drowned out the whistle of an approaching Amtrak train. Strolling leisurely down the tracks in 2006, he might have been listening to Bob Dylan’s Slow Train Coming. Whatever the soundtrack, the locomotive quickly turned it into a greatest hit—on him.

And let’s not forget the daring duo in Iowa, who decided a scenic railroad bridge would be the perfect spot for some rappelling. Tying their ropes securely to the tracks (yes, the tracks), they began their descent over the Des Moines River. When the train arrived on its daily tour, the ropes—and their plans—quickly unraveled.

The final stop

What do these tales teach us? For starters, trains always win. They’re like nature’s bulldozers: powerful, unyielding, and utterly indifferent to human folly. Yet every year, a few individuals boldly ignore these facts in ways that boggle the mind and make us wonder how they made it this far in life.

The Darwin Awards offer a grimly humorous reminder of the consequences of ignoring basic safety rules. Whether it’s music that drowns out a train’s whistle or ropes tied to active tracks, these moments serve as both warnings and laughs. Let’s hope future generations learn from these mistakes.