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People Are Losing Their S**t Over Tesla Cybertruck


What is happening? People are losing their S**t over the Cybertruck and it makes no sense. It is going far beyond a form of transportation to another realm. What’s wrong with you people. It’s a niche pickup truck, and actually it’s not even that, yet. It’s a prototype for what Tesla wants its pickup truck to look like in a perfect world, which never happens. Neither what you want, or living in a perfect world.

The focus is around cynical shots at Tesla and especially CEO Elon Musk. For as strong of a personality as Musk is, he engenders both strongly positive and negative reactions. We just won’t go there.

Elon Musk CEO of Tesla poses on the red carpet.
Elon Musk CEO of Tesla | TOBIAS SCHWARZ/AFP via Getty Images

But the shots at Tesla? Sure, we’ll take a look. But there is more. People are reading so much into the truck including what it portends for our future, society, and negative consequences it forecasts. Wow! People, it’s a vehicle, not a space laser cannon. 

Some are funny, while others are funnily eerie. 

“Brodozer truck for people screaming about the evils of bro trucks for a decade” 

Where does this come from? Is this like the “you can’t say Christmas anymore,” nonsense we see in bad memes? Who has a problem with pickup trucks-even diesel trucks rolling coal? And, are people saying bad things about trucks even a thing? There is no preconceived impact from pickup ownership unless it’s that vehicles are adding to carbon pollution. That is not isolated to trucks only. This just seems like someone with a chip on their shoulder wanting to vent.

“Transportation for the ultra-rich between fortresses to protect from when the dirty poors rise up” 

Man, that’s cynical. Obviously, a swipe at Musk and the monied, which isn’t entirely without merit. Nonetheless, it is a bit odd that the main selling points to the Cybertruck that Musk wanted to highlight in the media reveal are bulletproof glass and body panels that can withstand bullets. But, that doesn’t mean future selling points for vehicles will include how well it can withstand an IED or cartel ambush. Times are a bit strained right now but the stock market is way up, too. 

Tesla Cybertruck Premiere 11-21-19-00
Tesla Cybertruck Premiere 11-21-19-00

If there was the possibility of armed marauders roaming our major cities you can be sure the economy would be tanked so far down there would be no return. Last we saw, you can spend a leisurely Saturday night in an outdoor cafe without the slightest fear of abduction.

“Artistic commentary on society”

Artistic, or amusing? Neither, actually. Musk is all about making money, with a flourish. His mandate is Hoovering up cash to help fund his earth-saving ventures with a Capitalist bent. There’s nothing wrong with that. But artistic? Commentary? About society? Really, where are you coming from? It’s more like a commentary on attracting lots of media attention in an oversaturated news cycle. 

“Jumpstart news cycle to jack up the stock price”

Maybe competing in a distracted world full of attention-deficit issues might be closer to the truth. Jacking up the stock price by artificial means can get you in jeopardy of insider trading prison time. The Feds aren’t above putting either the monied or famous into the pokey over stock manipulation. Remember Martha Stewart?

“Pandering to market niches”

Niches are not worth spending this amount of elaborate effort and money to appeal to. Unless you are Porsche and this is 1990. Then, maybe you had to do it to some extent. But then it was discovered slapping a Porsche badge on an SUV was the cure for all of its money problems. Problem solved. No more need to pander to the sporty car types. 

“It’s not a truck, it’s cheap marketing”

This is only partially true. It is a truck and it is finding its quirky design is creating so much buzz even Motor Biscuit has done, like 677 posts about it and the pickup was just revealed a few days ago. Actually, “cheap marketing” should be “free marketing” since it cost a fair chunk of change to develop and produce the prototype. It wasn’t cheap. 

Tesla Cybertruck | Tesla-005
Tesla Cybertruck | Tesla

Detractors will continue to detract. Fanboys (and girls) will continue to flock to Musk and his twitterverse, so none of this is going to change anything. What those of us who are auto and truck enthusiasts hope for is that this is a wakeup call for the entrenched manufacturers. That they can’t continue to play it safe. We need to make this the 21st-century version of the GM Motorama shows of the 1950s. Fantastical automotive creations with crazy names and futuristic Jetsons-like features could be counted on to give viewers a taste of what cars would be like in just a couple of years. Even if they really didn’t for the most part.

Fun and fantastical future

The days of toasters on wheels need to be over. Fun and fantastical future conveyances- that’s what we need. If the Cybertruck does nothing more than to kickstart that sort of product cadence, then we’re all in for an exciting future.