MotorBiscuit’s Freak Show Friday: Phoney Fakes Gone Bad
There is this phenomenon where builders go to great lengths to make their cars look like a different car. They usually strive for making their freak shows look like Ferraris or 1957 Chevys. Whether starting with a Corvette or Miata the results are mostly horrific. That makes them Freak Show Friday winners. So this week we celebrate some of the phony fakes gone bad.
The sad part is that in many cases these represent a ton of work. In some cases, these also represent a ton of Bondo. But in all cases, they are ill-proportioned, ill-conceived, and illness-inducing. That’s partly what makes them freaks. See if you agree.
Freak Show ’57
This lovely example of a 1957 Chevy convertible started out as a 1993-2002 Camaro convertible. It should have stayed that way. The proportions are so hideous that it looks like the engine is ahead of the front wheels. That illusion happens because the windshield starts almost at the front suspension and the front overhang is massive.
Not A Nomad
Now, to show you one of these that might be better we present this former fifth-gen Camaro disguised as a 1956 Chevy Nomad wagon. We say “might be better” because this is the only shot we have so it is hard to determine proportions and the overall look. It looks to be well done. To get that Nomad B-pillar the builder used flat side glass for the windows because it can be cut to the shape you want. Curved side glass shatters because it is tempered. The windshield and rockers are the only tipoffs this was once a Camaro. Props to the builder.
This is all so wrong it is hard to know where to start. What was once a Mazda Miata is now a horrible mess. There isn’t a good angle on this beast. Obviously, those fins are the notorious 1959 Cadillac quarters. Since they make couches out of fiberglass reproductions of those fins we are assuming that is what these are. Whether real or not matters little. We don’t know how the Caddy quarters got blended into the doors but we’re betting there are cans and cans of Bondo in there somewhere. If the rear wasn’t bad enough in front we have headlights bonked into the hood that doesn’t have a single line that goes with anything. A truly horrible Freak fake.
Exploring Bad Taste
Proving Fords don’t translate well to these types of creations we have an Explorer with 1953 F-100 truck fenders, hood, and grille. They’re the pieces in blue in case you were wondering. Seeing it from the front or the back makes little difference. Either way, it looks odd at best. Maybe if the tires were pulled out farther there might be an improvement but why bother? ?In the end, it will still look like a freakish mistake.
Final Fake Freak
Our final fake freak is this lovely item. Starting out as an early 1980s Cadillac Eldorado. To that, a 1957 Chevy front end has been barfed onto it. The builder might have run out of steam once they stood back and looked at what they had wrought. We say that because only a weak attempt at replicating the 1957 Chevy fin trim is indicated in red paint. With the organic front end and stiff top and rear, this is the classic “square peg in a round hole” example. All we can say is “Yikes.”