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MotorBiscuit’s Freak Show Friday: Is This Wood Good?

Necessity is the mother of invention. Some people can’t fabricate. Some can handle wood better than metal. For those the answer to their fab problems is easy. If they need to add a pickup bed or create an entire car, wood is good. But would you call this wood good? If you’re into Freak Shows you would, wouldn’t you? Whether it looks good is a matter of opinion. Let’s take a look at four different approaches to wild wood Freak Shows

Good Bad Wood repair for a Prius that got punched

We don’t know whether this was intended as a temporary or permanent fix. It looks like it is somewhat permanent. There is a certain amount of style to it in a crude sort of way. Honestly, there was more than a lame attempt to try and get it to blend into the fluid Prius body. 

The upside-down Toyota license light is a nice touch. That’s keeping everything homogeneous. It would have been blasphemous to have used a Nissan or Ford license light. The stacked lights match-which makes this a deluxe Freak Show. Wow, even a backup light. Impressive. 

Freaky flat-wood wooden body sedan for freaks

We have no idea what is going on here. If we could take a wild wood guess we’d say this started out as a Volkswagen bug. What is most puzzling is the gray contraption hanging out front. We don’t see a return line and can’t see where it is going. It looks like it could be cold where this is so maybe it is some type of heat exchange for the interior but who knows. 

It is stylish in a boxy sort of way. The only thing curved is the windshield. And not only was the body completed but it looks like it has some varnish on it to protect it. If we could only get a word with the builder or possibly a tour of what is going on we could rest easy. Instead, the questions we have will haunt us in our sleep for many nights.

Freak Show convertible Porsche Cayenne woodie

In a completely different realm from the previous Freak Show example is this mid-2000s Porsche Cayenne. It has been converted to look like a Nissan Murano Crosscabriolet. That in itself is some freakishness beyond the pale. The faux wood sides just add to the sheer insanity of this misguided builder’s creation. 

If the top is a true folding convertible then kudos to the builder for the attempt, silly as it is. If it is one of those faux convertibles like Cadillac owners were fond of for their Fleetwoods in the 1970s then shame on you. If you’re going to do something this outrageous then make it real. The combination of the wood sides and the top is just jarring. That’s Freak Show gold.

Mercedes S-Class classless Freak Show pickup truck

Maybe this builder was going after a modern version of the Beverly Hillbillies Olds truck. Or maybe they saw an opportunity to travel in style while they haul manure. Whatever this was supposed to be it is rude and crude. What would make it even more freaky is if it was the 560 SEL top-of-the-line model. If you’re going to go for it go all the way. 

RELATED: Freak Show Friday: The Difference Between Creating and Designing

This is a Freak Show example of only needing a single shot of what is happening here but having two just to rub it into your brain. It is obvious from the two shots that the bed is sagging so we wouldn’t want anything too heavy hauling around town. 

Maybe these might inspire you to consider wood for your next project but it has probably done the opposite.