Police responded to a report of a crashed “vehicle” near Columbus, Ohio. What they found was 28-year-old Kile Wygle sprawled across the pavement of Kelley Lane, full of beer and bad ideas.

At just 28 years old, Wygle had already earned a license and then had it suspended. Many folks would have resigned themselves to drinking at home. But not Wygle. He disassembled a 5-horsepower ride-on lawnmower and welded a barstool to its frame.

These are popular vehicles among hobbyists trying to build something comical. And I’ll be honest, Wygle’s thorough take on the project included a nice set of handlebars and a wheelie bar on back. And of course it had a traditional “bar” attached to the front for his feet.

With no body panels or mower deck left, Wygle’s lightweight vehicle had some pep. He later admitted to authorities that it had a top speed of 38 mph (not a great thing to admit, but I digress).

The downside of a motorized bar stool is that the operator is sitting up high–on a stool. So they’re very tippy. Most drivers would be especially cautious. But Wygle isn’t most drivers. At 5:40 pm on one March evening, he was driving near his home and decided to pull a u-turn. But things didn’t go as planned.

Paramedics responded to the scene. While tending to the injured Wygle, they called in the police. Wygle proudly told investigating officer Michael Trotter that he’d slowed down to 20 mph to take the u-turn. I’ll ignore his complete lack of a speedometer and just point out that “slow” obviously wasn’t slow enough.

Authorities later took Wygle to Licking Memorial Hospital. He refused a blood alcohol content test. But when Trotter asked if he’d had a beer, Wygle said, “more like 15.” Definitely not a great thing to admit.

To Wygle’s shock, driving drunk on a public road can land you with a DUI–even if you’re riding a motorized barstool. Shocked that his loophole didn’t protect him from the law, Wygle pleaded “not guilty” and requested a jury of his peers.

Curious how a motorized bar stool even works? See a high tech example test driven in the video below: