MotorBiscuit’s Freak Show Friday: We’ve Got Commercial Freaks Too

SUVs and pickup trucks are so popular they’re killing off sedans and sports cars. But, you knew that. So the pickup/SUV zeitgeist has even invaded the freak realm. We humbly present three matchless examples of freaky commercial standouts that defy everything we know about what is cool and what is gruel. While we applaud the builder’s ability to persevere as they recognize their project is horrible, we also ask why not stop before the horror becomes a reality. So, for this weeks’ Freak Show Friday we’ve got commercial freaks for you too.

We applaud the Freak Show builder’s efforts to get his rig back into service

a mashup with a cheap hatchback and a one-ton pickup

Our first example is a simple expression of what to do when you need a cab for your one-ton pickup. In this case, just bonk a crappy hatchback where the cab used to be. And, keep the rear tires as a means of softening the ride. In other words, use as much of what you’ve got as you can.

While some might consider this a travesty, we applaud the builder’s efforts to get his rig back into service. Who cares how dumb it looks. You’re making some serious dough off of this abomination

Integrating a 1957 Cadillac front end says this person had access to a cheap Caddy front end

1957 Cadillac front end tied to a Chevy vano

Next up is the flamed Caddy van. Why this was someone’s idea of a good idea gives us an idea that he or she was bereft of ideas. Yet, integrating a 1957 Cadillac front end onto a Chevy van says this person had access to a cheap Caddy front end after totaling the back-half. 

One side note is that not only does this van feature a freakish front but it also is rocking dually rear fenders covering those dual rear wheels. Was this just a bit of trendiness or was this van a hauling hauler at one time? However you interpret it this is one freakish van.

We detect 82 or so different bodies puked together for this Freak Show

a combination of different car parts to make a freak

Freak Show Friday: Outrageous Mashup of Sportsroof and F-150

And finally, a truck so strange it places as one of the Top 10 Freak Show Friday finalists. We detect 82 or so different bodies puked together to form this freakish pickup. Not really, but there are at least five or six. This takes talent because with so many disparate pieces bonked together you have dimensions and differing surfaces and other impediments to a perfect execution. While no one would call this perfect, at least it is an execution of something.

We’re curious about what the back half functions as? Is it a spot for the kiddies to ride in or does it function as a pickup bed? Other than as basic transportation does this freak function in any other way? Is it front- or rear-wheel-drive? Does it matter? No, but we are curious. We wonder what the foundations for starting and then finishing such a freak show really are. 

We’ll give the builder credit for bringing his progeny into the public as this image indicates. He or she is either proud of their mashup or doesn’t care and instead appreciates it as a cheap, functional daily. Nothing in Freakland makes a lot of sense. But that’s partially why we celebrate their craftiness, creativeness, and courage, to drive these things in public.