Christmas Eve Chaos — Dodge Viper Versus Ditch
The Dodge Viper has long held the title of “widowmaker,” and for owning one, I couldn’t agree more. Under the insanely long hood sits a 10-cylinder engine that produces plenty of power and is a great option for performance upgrades. Unlike modern cars, it lacks just about any standard safety feature you could want on a car that puts out as much power, making them a true death trap to an inexperienced Viper driver or a driver in less-than-ideal conditions.
It wasn’t the first time…
This was far from the first time that this Dodge Viper had been put in an odd predicament. While it was years ago now, it seems like only yesterday we were rebuilding the motor that had been destroyed by a renter. Since then, it’s been sitting happily in the driveway, so perhaps it was time for this car to need some work.
A notoriously dangerous car
If you’ve ever gotten behind the wheel of a Dodge Viper for any amount of time, chances are you’ve noticed that it doesn’t have a lot of features, including ones that enhance our safety. While you may take things like traction control and ABS for granted in modern-day cars, these are the features that the car is desperately lacking. These features would make the car much safer to drive and would have possibly kept ours from going in the ditch.
A Christmas miracle
Luckily for us, we live in a great neighborhood with more than a few people stopping to offer their help. While I was pretty confident that the 7000-pound towing capacity of my used Porsche Cayenne could have completed the rescue mission I decided to hand over the reins to the true rescuer. Our neighbor with a Cummins diesel truck pulled the Viper from the ditch as easily as if it was a toy car, and we were able to drive the car home with no problems — well, other than a droopy front end dragging on the pavement.
Luckily for us, my fiance was unharmed in the accident and was even able to drive the car the very short distance home. For now, it will sit wilting in the driveway while we continue to rebuild yet another salvaged Lotus Elise. As we got the car home and began inspecting the damage, a single, lone crawfish climbed out from the front bumper, probably just as shocked by his new location as we were by our Dodge Viper hitting the ditch. Or perhaps we could simply rename it: the Dodge Water Mocassin.